Nur_Lindhal Islamic life木耳林答伊斯蘭生活圈

How many time do I seek fo a mulism family?It mean I admire islam is the one part of my life.Like what I said beofe the trouble making by human not the religion.The belief in islam is good no query at that.But I already converted muslim I have to follow what I promised to Allah.It's a task I seek in my life.There's three religion in my family.It's Buddhism,Chris and islam.So amazing!yup!

Allah won't grant me a privilege without any doing for islam.And me didn't request any privilege from Allah too.I just need to createmore islamic life in Taiwan.There's no reason that a small island was not spread  those islamic seed here.It's a drudgery everybody knows.But who wants to do first?It 's prone to disappearance in a huge,fill of Buddhism enviroment.Sometimes I could realize why most of converted muslim choose to  leave islam away.Nobody could stand for their side.The live in Khair family.If they couldn't convince thier family converting to muslim.Whereas their family will do the same to him or her.How could they endure those pressure

Before I do everything please say Bismillah first.It could make me feel good.When others try to attack you with some malevolent words.Just say Astafillrullah.What those Khair did you must try to realize why the real reason is.NurLindhal  you couldn't get mad always.Try to control your bad temper.

Everyday I have to gave me a strong plain relieve shot special those people say some malevolent words to me again.This afternoon I thought they just want to see me to suicide or some doing they like.I don't understand  why they love to do that.They did't consider the any results coz of those malevolent words.How many those new comers choose to resign because those arrogant NP and colleagues.When I worked at 9F there're four new comper quitted.But who would care this condition happening at surgery department?Nobody care.The head nurse just push human resource dept. to get more interview and support more manpower.So ridiculous with those funny doing.Why didn't they introspect themself?I remenbered one of my colleague just transferred to Gynecology dept. last four monthes.She thought it's unfair she gained in this dept..How about do other people work in surgery dept.?Even my leader want to transfer other dept.But the head nurse didn't allow.

When I worked in Wei Gong hospital I found my colleague are so proud of their job.But I didn't think so they are.Maybe my profession knowledge is not sufficient.At least I won't ignore my patient asking.They get sick so I knew what they really need.Is it not my job?When I saw some nurse and NP or doctor  talked to patient with impatient attitude do you think it's that profession?

When your family suicide you're hurry to hospital.But the NP told you it's not my case.I just a on duty doctor's assitant.I can't explain the condition of this patient to you now.What did she talk?Do you know?How cann't  you get mad with those profession NP?Curing patient disease or care patient needing wasn't important in the ward.They just want ti finish their job even me.I'm afraid I will became like that kind of the nurse I hate.

My father told me our house was built for 16 years ago since I was 10 years old.I try to reminisce what I suffered before.It is a long time I don't search the "history" of my house.After 912 was a horrifying earthquake happened in Taiwan in 1999 my wall of family's house appeared a lot of rifts.On that time I was studying nursing school in Linkou.After 10 years I went back to my house and slept on my own room.Sometime it had heavy raining the ceiling of my room will  be leaking.It's so sad.I never think if I wanna fix that because it was not happening always.

I knew it's my responsibility now not may father.I already get a job.So I have to rebuild my family house.But my father hope it was not the right time to rebuild it.Maybe he will wait for my brother married.It's different meaning in tranditional culture.The older will ask the eldest son rebuild their house.It can  be signified their success with their job.But I don't think so.When I converted muslim I still bought a lot of goods to my father.Computer,television all I could pay.In my mind I just think it's my house with those sweet family.I never think I can gain something from my father special the money or some rich.It's impossible.I have to appreciate my father support me a good life.I didn't worry about my student loan because he never allow me to do that.When I graduated from nursing school I just spent all I earned.I never think about my saving.After 5 years I just  realize my consumption stlye was so worst.I have to change.

When I saw those pictures I own It's so sorrowful I felt.All my reminiscence last three ago still afflict me.I can't run away those miserable pass event.I expect I could stay in islam but I can't get the happiness life.Sometimes I queried myself what happening to me.Just a happiness islamic life why I can't own.How can I complain this in my life?I need to introspect all the mistake I made everyday.I knew I am not happy.Why I look like so sad.I could be a well-being woman coz of my relive.

It's my reminiscence in my life.Whatever it's good or bad.I have to accept it.Maybe other people would think I lwas so depressed when they know what thinking I had.Everytimes I think I can hold my happiness if I can recite more Sura of Qur'an and make more Du'a.Is that true?I believe others muslims will argree that absolutely.So ..If I don't do that it means I am not a good muslim..

When I saw the teller in the bank they will let  me reminisce my mother.She is a treasurer in a factory.At that time I didn't think about my jon in future would be a nurse.I thought I would be like my mother to be a office assitant or accountant.I could study computer science ot acounting.Even my aunt was a acountant.But it was not.When she died I lost the power.I don't what I can do.Suddently I knew she told me if I can't study hard.Just go to a nursing school.I won't  get unemployed after few years.

Those words keep working until now.When I quit my jon in Golden brother.I still keep my nurse credential.I have a nure license.It was proved what my mother's intention is.I appreciate her guiding a right way.I won't be worry to lose my on this economical recession beside what I can't do my best in hospital.

Marriage is the best life everybody love.But the worst one is the person you like misunderstood you would get married with other guy.And  give his best regard to you.So sad.How can I esplain to him?I try to  give him a hint hoping his realizing.But it fair.He can't get my words.Maybe he knows what I said.But he try to avoid this sensitive issue.But he keept talking those misunderstanding.What I can return any response.

Like I said before.I have to do someting to Allah not ask from Allah.Any happiness is made by yourself  because of this religion spirit.I believe I can hold my own one.The first what I must do is being a good muslim.Pray five time a day and read more Sura of Qur'an.Make more Du'a for everybody include those Khair.They will appreciate those pith of islam.

They told me you could pray from allah.Allah will give you the best life.But I have another new thinking.Just do something good in islam.Do something good for allah.Not ask allah to give me the best life.I knew who I am.Why I am here in islam.Everyday I pray.It's for everyone I met, I knew.Not for me.

They said when you pray you would gain more Sawah.I think it's great like Buddhist.I rather transfer to other people they need.I hope my family could know more I gain from islam.I don't want to discuss any belief with them.Why I don't do that?Because I just show it and let them see what I gained. That's the best way we could stay on the same boat.

 My grandma  urged me to get married early I never reminisce what happened three years ago when she push me like that.I still remenber what I compain tearfully to the ex-chairman what happening on my side.They tried to advised me to give all I asked.They knew it's not good to me.That's true I find it now.

How long I can breakj out this nightmare in my life?I never think about that.I knew my fortune like a fragile mirror.Look at my aged face.I don't know how to make me get younger.Smile everyday.A little hard.Take a hard job now.Because of high pressure I kept in hospital even it's not my mistake my colleagues still would  blame on me.So horrible with them.Reminiscence all my love before.Why my like was so miserable.

Thanks for allah guiding.Everyday I would say that for myself.Everydau I orayfor everybody I met.I knew I am not a best one.But I could be the one they really needed.How could I change myself so fast.Maybe it's my mind changing.If I can't adapt myself to those suffered in the sugery ward I would get crazy after few monthes.

This morning I wake up so early.It is 04.00am I checked my clock.I thought my clock doesn't keep the good time.Actually it wan't.In fact I woke up at 04.00am I didn't know what I am worry about.Maybe I goty some depression with my job.When I tried to make me more clear I said"Bismillah"again.It is not the first time I woke up so early without any reason.I asked myself what kind of wonderful life I need.