Everyday I ask myself what I need in my life.Get married or take a hard job.I couldn't get both together.My head nurse talked me she hope I could consider more others feeling.If I couldn't do well I would involve others job.She admired she treat me so strick.But she wanna me learn more.It's good for me.But I still can't take this such high prssure.I don't know what I felt now. feared I would hurt the patient I care.I would hurt my colleagues.Why?Because of my bad temper.I try to cover that with my tear.But it's not the right way resloving the problem.But I knew myself.What the real I am.I couldn't be like my mother.Just shout to anybody with my emotional temper.Everything I wanna control.But it's fair.How could I complain those disappointed to my family?But I did already.When I get crazy.
When I calm down I could think more what I really need.I need the nurse job beside the hight salary.I like the feeling saving others' life.But I have no professtional skill to finish my dream.No~ you have.But you don't want to study and work hard.My family and the header try to remind me who I really am.What a smart girl is.I was not.Everyday I introspect what I do.Maybe the nervous enviroment make me going wrong way.When I wanna get angry I just pray for allah's forgiving.
My emotional temper result in most worst comdition.Before I graduated form Chang Gung institute techology school I try to suspend my schooling on fith semester.Because I couldn't patient thier malevolent words said by those senior nurses.After six year I start to realize what the reason they did to me.The job I work is facing a human not a equipment or machine.
If I can't improve my professional skill I couldn't stay here.It's for the best one.You could nose out any change from the patient and give the correct medicine or therapy.That''s their need.But I ignore this most important in the part.So that's why I felt so disappoint to everything.Not only think you wanna finish all the job immedietly.Consider more what the patient need first.That's a good nurse have to do.
Thnkas for Allah guiding.I got more.
Say Bismillah before you do everything.