I am so fool.I didn't know how to study well.I have to fight for my job.I need to study hard and get  more knowledge.And then I can do my good job.They try to insult me with those malevolence.I admitted I didn't work hard before.Start form yesterday I keep studying hard and review all I learned.

These two days I always think how to reach my goal as soon as possible.But I forgot it's impossible I could finish my job faster.I need to suffer all I didn't know.They said a new nurse always finish her job until 07.00pm to 08.00pm.So I have to follow like that.Review all the job I did make sure it's complete or not.I will be.I have to fight for my job.Let it become a routine in my work.

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I often complain others' fault or their malevolence to me.After that quarrel with my father I try to treasure everytime we get along.I didn't release my hight pressure and bad temper after work.He always teaches me those ways of the world.I am too youndg.Almost the time I don't know how to have a good relationship with my  co-workers.I just want to finish all my job by myself and keep my point only.I didn't make a good friendship with them. It's so bad.But I couldn't improve that.i had worked for 5 years almost.Start from golden brother it can't be changed.I didn't attend these company tourism.I hated to go out with my co-workers after work.Maybe I can't trust them.So I always criticize my co-workers in a unfair way.My family try to remind me what my behavior is so ultra.Those extreme thinking are  not accepted  in society.It's not a big deal my father always talks to me.

But now I try to open my heart for them.Becuase I know I just a nurse working at surgery department. I need a friend there even they are Khair.They always push me to finish all the job before 03.00pm.Now I knew why they did.Because they hope me work on night shift.If I work on night shift I have to care for 18-20 persons a day.Nobody can help me I must work independent.No choice....maybe after one month or two monthes I have to work on night shift becuase my co-worker is pregnant.Maybe she will get married during those three monthes.When I got this news so bad I felt.I just get five rest days on February.How many rest days  I will get on March?Someone already arrange her wedding on March.How about another one special she get pregnant already?But I have to think about them first.Keep working hard and finish this such contract.

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From: estelle1030@hotmail.com

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Everyday I consider what I can do for my life.Beside I am a muslim.Pray five times a day.Make more Du'a for others muslim friends and read Qur'an.What else?What I really need in my life.Ebven I queried myself if I had a good belief for Islam before.

My father told me"Because you thought you were scared those humdrum life.If you want to have your good life.you need to fight for that.Not always make your daydream."

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Today when I finished my hard job I just want to go home as soon as possible.I can't stay there a noisy,terror place and .Who have a good heart for you.Everybody has but they try to speak it out with a lot of bad words.I admitted I don't like to be a nurse.So not have a good ability with my job.They TRY to communicate with me by such atrocity words to hurt you.

I treasured this job when I got this job.But I knew I wasn't the strongest they need.But they need the manpower that's why they hired me. I look like a old lady persued by those co-workers.I graduated from 2003.I didn't work in hospital for five years.I lost the best time to gain more experience.Last March in 2008 I chose to work in regional hospital.That's good practice I can learn more from this kind of hoispital.I don't need to pay another tuition per year.That's point I decided to work in Wei Gong again.

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Khair and Muslim friends which one is better I can make a friend.

If I push them from our group.Maybe they will became a muslim someday.I could not refuse to make a friendship with them.Maybe our talking can transmit islam to them.That's true.I was a Khair before.How I can get more Islamic information.Just tramsmit by mulsim friends.Thanks for allah guiding.everybody could get some information from internet.But we must touch that with real people.Just like I said whatever it's good or bad.I have to accept it.I stood on the edge of them.I could know all the difficulty I suffered before.I confused my life what I really need.what my dream is.But now I have....

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